29-04-07 My Calling

The world seeks a hero...

Water is wasted like free everywhere...

Loos are flushed as a pastime by children who aren't let into the cinemas to watch "300"...

Water sprinklers are used by lazy football pitch managers who can't afford to hire 'grass-waterers'...

Singapore has stopped reclaiming land and started reclaiming water from the polluted Straits of Malacca to turn into Newater...

What hope is there?

Who can we all turn to?...

What's this? A new superhero has come from the late 1980s? Who? WHERE? Can he fly? Does he don a super tight underwear to strain his groin?

OH MY GOODNESS!!! IT'S...

'Toilock Man'!!!

Sorry, guys... I was just crapping with Chung and WE came up with this sudden brilliance!

Guess what? I just blocked ANOTHER toilet bowl tonight. The toilet bowl of the hotel room I stayed with my family last night. Well, HALF of it anyway...(My family, I meant..) That's not the picture of the few-starred toilet bowl though. I had a feeling it won't be the last time so I decided against taking a picture this time. Besides... What would my MOM think? (WHAT are you doing??!! You're PROUD of that??!!?? Oh my... *faints*)

Anyway... It'd be quite cool, right? A new superpower. Reminds me of all those movies and games that involves superheroes...

In "Sky High", I'd be a sidekick...

In "Zoom", I'd be the one to block the WHOLE crater to stop Zoom's bro(I forgot his name) from doing any harm or doing ANYTHING...

In "Fantistic Four", I'd be... Invisible Girl's bf... Don't ask me why. I just wanna be. :P

In "The Incredible Hulk", I'd be copying his line... "You don't wanna make me eat seaweed... You don't LIKE me when eat seaweed..."

In Dota... My basic skills would be "Decay"(Toilockio gives off an awful odour that has a 20%/ 30%/ 40%/ 50% chance to stuns creeps for 1/1/2/2.5 seconds and half of both for heroes. - Passive), "Seaweed Lump"(Toilockio throws a lump of digested seaweed at a unit for 100/ 150/ 200/ 250 damage and stops the unit from moving for 2 seconds), "Summon Toilet Bowlets"(Toilockio summons 2 Toilet Bowlets from nearby corpses that deal minor/ small/ medium/ bigger-than-medium-but-smaller-than-big damage to enemies and have the 'Decay' attribute. Lasts 30/ 40/ 50/ 60 seconds.) and my ulti would be... "Toilockio's Bowl of Wrath" (Toilockio pours out his 7 bowls of wrath on the earth, damaging all units and buildings on the map equivalent to 50%/ 75%/ 100% his attack damage but does half of that to his own allies and buildings 7 times unless he dies. All enemy units cannot move for 4 seconds.) WOW!!! Choice hero of EVERYONE!! Heehee...

Those ppl who do NOT take good care of the environment and conserve energy will taste the wrath of Toilock Man... LITERALLY! I will stuff lumps of toilet-blocking seaweed down their throats! Sounds 'distasteful'? Don't make me do it then... I WILL do it!! Bwahaha....!!!

Anyway... I just had Sakae Sushi dinner just now... Which means I had a LOT of seaweed... SOUND THE ALARMS!!!

*Evil snicker*Heeheeheehee...

I shall bring forth the war-torn situation of Singapore tomorrow. Stay tuned to JTKL89NEWS@asia for more updates!







And oh... Please don't tell me you actually clicked on that... :P