01-07-07 I do NOT deserve them...

I just finished reading YN's entry on friends and then happened to flip to KW's blog. No new entries but as I scrolled to the links to other ppl's blogs, I noticed that she entitled it "MY PALS"... That got me thinking of how many friendships and maybe other relationships I never really deserved all along...

I did not deserve Kar Wei's friendship for being so pampered and temperamental in 2006. I did not deserve her friendship for always being the one getting angry at little matters and pointing fingers at her all the time. I owe her for standing my childish ways.

I did not deserve Chung's friendship for all the way back in the year of 2004 when I rejected his application for being an AJK in Orientation '05. I owe him for always putting him down and shoving my ego up his face.

I did not deserve Michele Chai's friendship for always causing all sorts of quarrels and strife to emerge between us. I did not deserve her friendship for the many lies I told to her despite her knowing the truth even before I tried covering it up. I owe it to her for my hypocrisy. I owe it to her for bearing with my ego and having to let go of hers.

I did not deserve Gareth's friendship for always having a go at him at every opportune time. I did not deserve his friendship for always belittling him and trying to p**s him off. I owe him for bearing with my naughtiness and 'jio'yness.

I did not deserve Janice Wee's friendship for not being there for her at many times but instead only able to make things worse for her when things aren't going her way in the first place already. I did not deserve her friendship for forcing her to make choices she does NOT need to make. I owe it to her for keeping it in her and not getting angry but finally coming clean and being honest to me.

I did not deserve Aaron Wong IH's friendship for uh... Not being cool enough.

I did not deserve Esther Lu's friendship for some really stupid stuff I've teased her about. I owe it to her for forgiving me for the silly little 'I'm-angry-you-told-others-abt-the-gift-I-gave-you' incident in... 2000.

I did not deserve Alvin Tan's friendship for always making him feel noobish. I did not deserve his friendship for not making him realize how wonderful God has created him and the gifts that God has actually blessed him with. I owe it to him for giving my words so much credit.

I did not deserve Louise Lu's friendship for my really childish days. I owe her for the 'cold war' period, having caused her to become upset.

I did not deserve Leonard Lu's friendship for not being able to stand on his side for many times. I did not deserve his friendship for not being able to cover for him sometimes. I owe him for standing up for me at many occasions.

I have many more to record but it's getting very early now(12.23 AM) and there's church later! I really thank God for these many blessings I have had and for many cases, still have. I really regret letting such friendships rot away and not making effort to retain them. For all my acquaintances and companions out there, I say this...

Forgive me! I am only human and imperfect. Let my letdowns be drowned in my apologies...!!