23-06-07 It's Not Easy To Be Nice...

... In other words, it's easy to be NOT nice. I think this will be the first in a series of future entries.

For this entry, I got the inspiration while I was on the bus just now. I realized how easy it is to annoy the person next to you or even the those on the whole bus. Here's a list of what you wanna do have ppl turn their heads and scowl at you on the bus.(personally not recommended)

1. Clear your throat and cough really, REALLY loud.*Ahhh-HEEKKKKKkgGGghhhHHH*
2. Keep fidgeting in your seat.
3. Push your knee(s) against the seat in front.(What to do? Legs too long, seat too cramped what, right?)
4. Board a bus right after some vigorous exercise and when you're sweating like a... sweaty person you are(I dunno how ppl can use animals as a comparison here cos... I dunno which animal on earth actually sweats a lot on its body after running or sth) and wheezing like a heart-attack patient. Then, sit really, REALLY close to this young lady/man who obviously is all dressed up for some really nice function.
5. When boarding the bus, put your heavy groceries down real slowly(got eggs inside, right?), then reach for your really heavy backpack and start digging for your purse/wallet. After finally finding it, start digging in your purse/wallet among your many, MANY coins for the exact change, struggling as there are mostly 1 cent(if in M'sia) and 5 cent coins.(Don't wanna top up, more expensive what, right?)
6. Due to all the seats taken, you stand with several others. Standing with them, you opt NOT to place your items on the floor as they're just so precious and fragile. Then, because of the DRIVER'S reckless driving, you keep jerking back and forth and knocking into the others standing, occasionally bumping your backside at the old seated lady right beside where you're standing.
7. In a similar situation as in 6, except that you did not buy or bring anything. So, you're able to stand properly. Then, with your back facing a mother and child, you accidentally let out a audible fart. (Hmmm... Sounds like a Toilock Man mischief...)
8. Like a combined situation of 4 and 7, except this time the bus is really PACKED! Even standing space is no more available. Having nothing to grasp except for the iron bar above which the shorter girls standing beside you can't reach, you decide to just grab it. Then, your amazing power emanating from your underarms cause the girls to squeeze closer together, using their perfume's fragrance as life support.
9. Keep pressing the "STOP" button after every stop even though you're not getting off soon.
10. Keep pressing the "STOP" button even after the "BUS STOPPING" sign is up.
11. Drink something(which is illegal on buses in Singapore) and as the bus turns or jerks, you spill the liquid on the ppl beside AND in front of you.
12. Blast your MP3-playing mobile phone to the maximum.(Works best when you have a low-quality MP3-blasting mobile phone. e.g. Nokia?)
13. (For girls) Knowing that you have really smooth and long hair, you wish to show it off. So, you shake your head around every 10 minutes, your hair tickling the poor old man beside you who is trying to have a nap.
14. Take off your shoes after a long walk in the damp forest at MacRitchie Reservoir/Lambir Waterfalls or from mountain-climbing at Canada Hill.
15. Talk really loud over the mobile phone.(HELLO? HELLO! OI! HELLO! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! CAN YOU SPEAK LOUDER? PPL CAN'T HEAR YOU AH!!)

Warning: Some of the actions above may lead to the bus driver stopping the bus instantly and kicking you out of the bus personally. Perform at own risk. jtkl89.blogspot.com bears no responsibility for stupid actions taken on bus.